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  ‘Um … apparently you’re meant to be naked for this part!’ Tanisha said smirking.

  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! You’re lying! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ I screamed. There was no way I was doing this in my birthday suit!

  Mum came out and explained that Tanisha wasn’t lying and that I was supposed to be topless, but she’d negotiated with the Queen Mother that I could wear a bra or a bikini top. Apparently this was to make sure that everyone could see that I wasn’t pregnant.

  I was furious. I mean, a bikini top or bra? It was weird enough sitting in the courtyard with people gawping at me as they went to work. I couldn’t do it half-naked!

  ‘Go to your room – there’s a bikini on the bed,’ Mum added hopefully.

  I looked over at Tanisha and Delphy. They were attempting to stifle their laughter.

  ‘Oh shut up, you two!’ I said. I went indoors to put on the bikini top and decided to put some shimmery body lotion on, so at least my skin would glow in the sun. I was just about to return to my courtyard seat, when Nana-Amma turned up in my room and began covering my arms, back and chest in a white paste. She told me it was white clay, to signify my purity and, within minutes, she’d covered every part of me that shimmered. It was a shame my thoughts couldn’t be purified, because at that moment I wanted nothing more than to grab her hands and yank them away from me. The thing is you can’t do that to your grandmother. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tanisha and Delphina doubled over with laughter in the corridor.

  I put my ntoma back on, returned to my seat and was about to put on my ear phones, when Nana-Adowa yanked the top half of my ntoma down so everyone could see my bikini top and stomach.

  ‘Hey!’

  ‘Tradition is tradition. I may not approve of that bikini, but if the Queen Mother agreed to it, then it will do.’

  That was the problem with having so many grandmothers.

  I bet, if any of my grandfathers had been alive, they wouldn’t have been too happy. Come to think of it, Dad wouldn’t have been pleased about this. Now and again he got a bit weird with the length of my skirts in the summer. He sort of mumbled and Mum just rolled her eyes at him. She kept telling him she’d seen a lot worse where she worked and that was the staff, not the pupils.

  ‘You Londoners think you can get away with anything!’ Nana-Adowa said. ‘Well, I hope when it is Delphina’s turn, she’ll stick to the rules.’

  ‘Yes, Nana,’ I replied. I wanted to tell her that Delphina wouldn’t do this ceremony unless it meant automatic access to the top Ghanaian business minds. Even then with her powers of negotiation, Delphina wouldn’t make it easy for them.

  ‘You won’t be needing this,’ she said, yanking away my iPod. ‘And you’d better give me your phone too.’

  I couldn’t believe it, but saying no to Nana-Adowa was like telling a fire to stop raging, so I handed over my mobile.

  Handing over both my phone and my iPod was just a step too far for me. I had barely had time to adjust to my new toy and it was already being cruelly snatched from me. I loved it – I just had to work out how to get Mum and Dad to pay for my downloads, instead of having to use my pocket money. When we were in Accra, I thought I’d lost my iPod and made everyone hunt it down. I actually cried. I had the perfect selection of music on it, so to lose it so soon was devastating. The thing is, I do everything to music: study, chores and walk to the shops. Embarrassingly, it was found under my bed.

  Mum was not pleased and told me to look after my ‘Walkman’ properly. She called it a Walkman because when she was my age, that was the name of the newest thing – a portable cassette player about the size of a brick!

  I was beginning to not like Nana-Adowa; her only saving grace was that she was Auntie Leila’s mum.

  After a while I could hear drumming again. It got louder and louder and suddenly three men appeared, dressed in shirts made of ntoma, smart trousers and carrying huge drums around their bodies. They were beating their drums with thin drumsticks. Behind them were two women and a young girl, also dressed in ntoma, who began singing as they approached me. Within minutes, everyone – Mum, Nana- Amma, Nana-Adowa, Comfort, Auntie Leila, Tanisha and Delphina – were singing and dancing around me.

  More people passed by and I was given small gifts mainly by Nana-Amma’s neighbours. The music and drumming ended and I was allowed to return to the house as the next stage was about to begin.

  I found Delphina and Tanisha listening in on a conversation.

  ‘What’s going on?’ I asked.

  ‘Shh!’ Tanisha said and I joined their eavesdropping.

  ‘All you have to do is carry her. It’s not that far,’ Auntie Leila said.

  ‘No,’ said a male voice. I realised it was my older cousin, Kofi. His mum and Auntie Leila were sisters.

  ‘Come on,’ Auntie Leila added.

  Mese dabi.’

  ‘Mepε wo kyεw?’ Auntie Leila asked. ‘She’s huge! Not even I am man enough for that on my back!’ said Kofi.

  ‘I would have bargained by now,’ Delphy said. ‘Who are they talking about?’ I asked. ‘You!’

  ‘What?’ I said, shocked.

  ‘Keep it down. Oh and I wouldn’t interrupt – eavesdropping doesn’t look good,’ Tanisha said.

  ‘Kofi, she’s your little cousin. Someone from our family has to do it and you’re the only male without an age-related illness!’ Auntie Leila said, persuasively.

  ‘Plus, I’m really strong and handsome …’ Kofi added.

  ‘Yes, of course. How much do you want?’

  ‘I see where Delphy gets it from!’

  I exclaimed. ‘Shh!’ Delphy said.

  ‘An iPod. Plus an iTunes card with credit in sterling.’

  ‘What? You crook! You should be doing this for free!’

  We suddenly heard movement on the other side of the door, so we all jumped back in shock.

  ‘No wait, don’t go,’ Auntie Leila said, hurriedly.

  ‘Do we have a deal, Auntie?’

  ‘Yes, yes, Kofi. Well, at least Makeeda will be pleased.’

  Oh, I thought it was Tanisha doing her bragoro,’ Kofi said.

  ‘No, it’s Makeeda!’

  ‘εnyε hwee.’ Kofi shrugged.

  ‘Course it doesn’t matter to you, you cheeky little …’ Tanisha said angrily.

  I pulled her back.

  ‘Remember, eavesdropping doesn’t look good.’ I grinned.

  ‘Shouldn’t you be getting ready?’ Comfort said, startling us.

  ‘Um … yeah.’

  ‘First, we have to shave your hair and cut your nails,’ Comfort said in a mixture of Twi and English.

  ‘My what?!’ I said.

  ‘What did you just say?’ Tanisha asked, horrified.

  Delphina just stared at me in disbelief. I actually saw signs of sympathy in her eyes. I silently ran my fingers through my jumbo braids. I had had them done just before we arrived in Ghana.

  We heard Nana-Amma shouting for Comfort and she immediately disappeared.

  For a minute or two, the only thing that could be heard was the distant hum of the fridge in the kitchen.

  ‘Listen, it’s not too late to back out of the rest of this thing,’ Tanisha said.

  ‘What? Now?’ I asked. But I was sorely tempted. The thought of losing my hair was too much. It had taken ages for it to grow!

  ‘Makeeda, this is getting out of control,’ Tanisha went on. ‘It’s like they’re sending the movement back a hundred years!’

  ‘Movement?’ I didn’t know what she was talking about.

  ‘Feminism,’ Delphina said, smirking at me.

  ‘Oh right,’ I said, shooting Delphina a look. How was it possible that she could work that out before I did?

  ‘It’s archaic!’ Tanisha added.

  Suddenly Mum appeared, ushering Delphina into the kitchen to help Comfort.

  ‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

  ‘She can’t
do this!’ Tanisha said to Mum. ‘It’s wrong to make her go through with it!’

  ‘Tanisha, you’re not going to spoil your cousin’s day. I’ve just about had enough of your ill-informed comments. You don’t know everything about our culture!’

  Mum didn’t stop there. She told Tanisha to stop seeing our culture as something to be looked down on, as this was a ceremony that celebrated womanhood, not degraded it. Taking part was like taking your place in the history of all these women.

  Afterwards we went into the kitchen and joined Auntie Leila and Delphina.

  ‘Delphina, can you please stop peeling most of the yam? It’s just the bark you have to remove, we eat the white part!’ Auntie Leila said, breaking the tension and making us all laugh. It was funny seeing Delphina’s square-looking slices of yam in the bowl.

  Ten minutes later, Mum called me to my room.

  ‘Mum, you can’t let them shave my hair!’ I protested. ‘I don’t mind the manicure and pedicure, but not my hair!’

  ‘What? No one’s shaving your hair. They’ll just take out your braids in a symbolic gesture.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said.

  Auntie Leila had just joined us and was giggling. ‘Did I just hear you say manicure and pedicure?’

  ‘Makeeda, where do you think you are – Selfridges? We haven’t got time to do those,’ Mum said, also starting to laugh.

  I was the only one not laughing.

  ‘You’re about to go into the river,’ Mum went on. ‘You have your nails clipped so nothing gets caught under them.’

  I just stared at them in disbelief.

  ‘Stop looking so scared. I’m doing it for you. Now get into the bathroom,’ Auntie Leila said.

  Scared? That had to be an understatement.

  An hour or so later, I was dressed in another robe of white ntoma with my face concealed in a scarf. I was being carried to the river portion of my ceremony by my cousin Kofi. It was weird having him carry me on his back, but as this wasn’t the first time we’d met it wasn’t too embarrassing. I just kept hoping I didn’t fart or anything, because he’d warned me that he’d drop me, walk off and then tell everyone.

  I was keen to get to the river – the heat was almost unbearable, but at least I still had my hair.

  There wasn’t always a road or pavement on the way to the river, and as the government hadn’t finished building in Nana’s area, Kofi and I struggled initially. We had just reached the main road when Nana-Amma’s car drove past us, with Mum, Delphy, Tanisha and Nana-Amma all waving as they whizzed by. We continued a little further and I noticed the vultures circling above the abattoir ahead.

  ‘You know, you may not look heavy, but you’re definitely not light, Makeeda,’ Kofi said.

  ‘Hey!’

  ‘Can you hop off for a bit?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, climbing down. ‘My back!’ he said stretching.

  ‘Stop moaning! At least you’re going to get an iPod out of

  it!’

  ‘Yeah, so?’ Kofi said, smiling.

  ‘So, I think you should just carry me without the snide remarks. You’re getting paid, mate!’ I said.

  ‘Said like a true Englishwoman,’ he grinned, disappearing into a nearby shop.

  He soon reappeared with a drink.

  ‘What did you mean by that?’ I asked.

  ‘By what?’ he asked.

  ‘By saying I’m a true Englishwoman.’

  Kofi frowned. ‘Wait, are you denying your Englishness?’

  ‘No,’ I replied, hesitating.

  ‘Makeeda, where were you born?’

  ‘England,’ I said.

  ‘And where do you live?’ he asked. ‘In London.’

  ‘OK then.’ Kofi took a gulp of his drink. ‘So you don’t think I’m Ghanaian?’ I asked. Kofi shrugged.

  ‘Is that why everyone here calls me English girl?’ Back in London, I sometimes felt like an outsider. I couldn’t believe that here in Ghana, people still considered me different. So where did I actually belong?

  ‘Listen,’ said Kofi, giving me some of his drink, ‘whether you like it or not, until you’ve lived here for ten years or so, no one will ever really consider you Ghanaian. It’s the same for me in England.’

  ‘No it’s not,’ I lied.

  ‘Come on, the last time I was in London, I was told I’d have to lose my accent to be considered English. I mean, you speak Twi with an English accent so it’s the same, isn’t it?’

  I knew he had a point, but it still left an oddly bitter taste in my mouth.

  ‘You think my Twi is good then?’ I asked him.

  ‘No, I never said that! If you were that good, we wouldn’t be speaking in English.’

  ‘Oh cheers,’ I said.

  ‘I just meant it’s like an English version of Twi, but I can understand you … most of the time.’ Kofi said, laughing.

  ‘Charming!’

  ‘Come on, stop looking so miserable. You’ll bring on some of that horrible English rain that never stops!’ Kofi said, offering his back for me to climb on to again.

  ‘Some chance,’ I said, looking up at the scorching sun.

  ‘You know if you’re good, maybe I won’t trip over a rock and send you into the gutter.’

  I winced. There were open gutters alongside the road, with all sorts of unpleasant stuff in them. I silently did as I was told. I realised that, despite getting paid for this, Kofi had had to give up his day and had probably cut short his evening last night, to be able to carry me to my ceremony.

  ‘It’s all right. You’re not really heavy; I just needed a break. Besides, I’m just glad you’re not Tanisha – she probably would end up in the gutter. I mean accidentally, of course!’ he said. I couldn’t see his smirk but could hear it.

  ‘Of course,’ I replied, innocently.

  We laughed and continued heading towards the river bank with the sun beating down on our heads.

  ‘We’re nearly there,’ Kofi said, cheerfully. Despite his tone, I could hear the relief in his voice.

  Ahead, I could see dense forest just behind a row of small shop buildings. By the trees in front of a river stood most of the female members of our family. In the distance, some other people were watching too.

  Kofi’s mum looked on proudly, as he gently crouched so I could step off his back. Nana-Adowa called for me. She was standing in the middle of the river. Mum had already explained this part of the ceremony to me. Nana-Adowa was going to splash the water in my face. Mum had told me not to put on any make-up, as she didn’t want my panda eyes ruining her photographs.

  I watched as Nana-Adowa washed her arms and began a speech. Mum couldn’t translate what Nana-Adowa was saying at this stage because some of the words she heard were an ancient form of Twi which not many people knew. I realised it was another method of maintaining the secrecy of the ceremony.

  The water lapped across my feet as I waded towards Nana- Adowa. I felt her vice-like grip on my arms and the water suddenly felt less cold. I looked back at Mum, Delphy and Tanisha and smiled, just before I was bent double and literally thrown into the water.

  I panicked. Ohmigod, the woman is trying to drown me! Is this what Mum meant by splashing my face?

  I emerged, spluttering and trying to catch my breath. It was not exactly the most dignified moment of my life. I tried to give Nana-Adowa my best cold, hard glare, but the water was stinging my eyes. Besides, I reckoned she could outstare anyone.

  Mum came rushing over, helped me back to the shore and began drying me off.

  ‘You did really well,’ she said, proudly.

  ‘I nearly drowned!’ I muttered.

  ‘Yeah, Makeeda, I’ve caught the shocked look on your face perfectly!’ Delphina giggled, as she showed everyone the camera image of me with my arms flailing around like a distressed animal. ‘It’s such a classic. I wish I had the camcorder with me.

  ‘Shut up, Delphy!’ Tanisha and I chorused.

  ‘Jinx!’ we said and began the littl
e-finger lock.

  ‘Ohmigod, how old are you two?’ said Delphy. ‘I stopped calling jinx over seven years ago!’ Mum took her off to talk to Nana-Amma and Kofi.

  ‘Sorry about earlier,’ Tanisha said.

  ‘It’s all right,’ I said and we smiled at each other.

  I wasn’t sure she’d ever understand why I had decided to go ahead with the ceremony – it was confusing enough to me, but I just felt strongly that I wanted – and needed – to do it. I vaguely knew that I wanted a connection with my Ghanaian heritage that went beyond the words on a page of a text book. I also knew that didn’t make sense to everyone around me – but sometimes you don’t have to completely understand or even like the stuff someone you love does. You just have to let them know that you’re there anyway. I realised that Tanisha didn’t have to fly to Ghana for this, but she did. It made me think about my relationship with Bharti. I had never completely understood why she kept her relationship with Rafi secret, but she knew I supported her. I wished she’d been here to see this.

  We headed back to Nana-Amma’s place and, as I was in the same car as Kofi, I had to hear about his heroics in taming the wild lion that had escaped from the local zoo and tried to attack me, so I was able to attend my ceremony. He had everyone in fits of laughter. I was beginning to like my cousin more and more.

  Once we arrived, I was the centre of attention again. This time, I sat on the stool in a middle of Nana’s living room. I had Bella sitting at my feet along with a male cousin about her age, called James; apparently they were meant to symbolise fertility – not something I wanted to think about, but I kept quiet. Nana-Adowa approached and fed me a whole boiled egg, which I had to eat slowly. Then I was fed some eto (a dish of seasoned mashed yam and onions), before Bella and James were invited to eat from the same bowl. By now, some of the children from Nana-Amma’s neighbourhood had joined us. Once I and Bella and James had eaten, all hell broke loose as traditionally all the other children were meant to finish the eto, so what felt like millions of hands dived into the bowl at once. Horrified, Bella screamed a rude word in Italian, and Auntie Leila almost hurled her into the bedroom. Luckily all the nanas were in the other room by then.