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  I began sobbing again. It felt like every one of her words pierced a new hole in my heart, but I could feel my mood changing from incredible sadness to intense anger. Who did she think she was?

  ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ Tanisha asked.

  ‘I’m fed up listening to you go on and on!’

  ‘The truth hurts, Makeeda, so grow up!’ she replied.

  That was the final straw. This was difficult enough, without having sanctimonious Tanisha all over it.

  ‘What is your problem?’ I asked.

  ‘You! You’ve got everything, but you act like a spoiled brat and sabotage it. You’re so self-absorbed. When was the last time you spent the day with your sister or did something for your mum?’

  ‘I knew it!’ I yelled. ‘All that time I blamed Mum for ignoring me, but it was you! You’re so jealous of me; you have to build a wedge between me and Mum,’ I said angrily.

  ‘Shut up, Makeeda!’

  ‘Every time I turn around, you’re hanging on my mum like a really bad scarf. Haven’t you seen her peeling your arms away from her neck?’ I asked.

  ‘You’re lying!’ Tanisha’s voice cracked.

  ‘No, I’m not,’ I said coolly. ‘You can’t keep trying to take my mum away from me, it’s stupid! She’s never going to be your mother!’

  ‘I know that!’ Tanisha spat furiously.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  I was so angry that I didn’t see Tanisha’s hand before it connected with my cheek in a slap. That was when everything became a blur and we lunged at each other.

  Within a minute, Auntie Leila and Mum had appeared and pulled us apart. We hadn’t even heard them come into the room.

  The rest of the evening I spent in my room. Delphy was under strict orders not to discuss the fight, so she kept humming the theme tune to a wrestling show Dad liked watching, until I screamed ‘Manhattan!’

  After a while, I began to calm down and see things a bit differently. I couldn’t believe how nasty I’d been. Tanisha hadn’t deserved any of the things I’d said to her, and the longer I was stuck in my room thinking about her and the mess I’d made of things with Nick, the worse I felt.

  I didn’t sleep much that night.

  Breakfast was awkward until Auntie Leila ordered Tanisha and me into the garden to sort things out. For the first time, Tanisha was made to realise that she had to be aware of my feelings, too. Then I was told that according to our custom, my mum was now Tanisha’s mother because Auntie Jennifer had died. Auntie Leila told Tanisha that she’d always have her aunties a phone call away but that she needed to focus more on her relationship with her dad, who would never stop missing Auntie Jennifer even though he had got engaged the previous year.

  Tanisha and I made up but it was an uneasy truce. We both acknowledged that we should never have fought like that, but neither of us was willing to take back any of the words we’d said. It meant that we were polite but not friendly and, despite several attempts by Mum and Auntie Leila, we boarded our flights that way. Deep down I was glad I’d finally confronted Tanisha. Even though I realised I shouldn’t have been so unkind, I was glad she knew how I felt about her and Mum. For the first time, I didn’t feel guilty about being jealous of their bond.

  But I was also starting to understand that Tanisha might feel worried about her dad getting married again and possibly having another family. It had never crossed my mind before that she would prefer being with Mum for that reason.

  I remembered what Tanisha had said about me being self- absorbed. Maybe she was right, after all. And maybe I’d messed things up with Nick for good.

  Chapter 13

  Home Comforts

  My phone rang and Bharti’s name flashed up.

  ‘Hey, how are you? Anything?’ Bharti asked.

  ‘Nope.’

  I’d been back in London for a week and I hadn’t heard a word from Nick. I’d been so pleased to be home, but every five minutes my mind would drift back to him. I’d thought that he would’ve calmed down by now, but he hadn’t returned any of my texts.

  ‘You need to do something,’ said Bharti. ‘Anyway, I’m coming round. We need to sort out our outfits and accessories for Friday.’

  Friday was our school prom. It was for the Year Elevens of the three local schools in the area: my school, Nelson and Nick’s school and the mixed school in Wealdstone. Normally everyone would be discussing something as huge as a prom for ages, but because of our exams we were all just really glad that the school and Year Tens were organising it on our behalf.

  Within half an hour, Bharti was at my house sitting on my bed. We spent twenty minutes checking out the shops online, so we knew what we wanted to try later.

  ‘Makeeda, you need to find out where he is,’ Bharti said.

  ‘How do I do that?’ I asked.

  ‘Go to his house or call his mum.’

  ‘What if he’s home and just ignoring me?’

  ‘Then you’re just going to have to deal with it. I mean, that was the worst moment ever to go quiet!’

  ‘Don’t get mad with me, Bharti; I know how much I’ve messed up,’ I said.

  ‘Good. That should make it easier to apologise to him.’

  Bharti had had no sympathy for me when I’d told her what had happened in Ghana.

  Bharti handed over the phone to me and I dialled the number. It rang four times before being answered. I asked for Nick, but his mother told me he was away in Poland with his brother and grandfather – some sort of family emergency. She told me to try his mobile, as she wasn’t sure how long they’d be there.

  So he had his mobile. He was definitely ignoring me. We were over.

  ‘Poland?’ Bharti looked concerned.

  ‘I know, you’re thinking he’s probably already had a holiday romance with a gorgeous Polish girl.’

  ‘Nooo!’ Bharti lied. ‘I was thinking he probably hasn’t had any time to meet anyone. Especially if he’s there for a family emergency.’

  I shrugged.

  Bharti and I were about to head out for the shops when we heard Mum scream. We ran downstairs to find her staring at a delivery for Delphy that was being piled all along the hallway.

  ‘Where is your sister?’ Mum asked.

  ‘She’s gone to see Daniel,’ I said, unable to tear my eyes away from the boxes still being brought in.

  ‘Her unofficial business partner!’ Mum said angrily. ‘He lives on Gordon Avenue, right?’

  ‘Yeah, number 330. Mum, did Delphy order all of that?’

  ‘Yes, she did, and she promised us, she promised us she’d stay out of trouble!’ Mum grabbed her car keys and left.

  ‘Aren’t you going to text Delphy and let her know your Mum’s …’ Bharti began, but I smirked at her. ‘Makeeda, don’t be mean. She’d do it for you.’

  ‘I never said a word!’ I replied. The temptation to leave Delphy to face Mum unprepared was strong, but in the end I couldn’t be that evil. Although I did wait twenty minutes, knowing it would take Mum thirty to get there.

  Me: Mum’s coming 2 pick U up from Daniel’s NOW!

  Delphy: Y?

  Me: She knows about the packages. They’ve arrived and are

  blocking the hallway ! B afraid, sis, B V AFRAID!!

  Delphy: Thx.

  * * *

  As we headed for the tube station, Bharti suddenly stopped walking. ‘Makeeda,’ she said suddenly, ‘I keep thinking that if you and Nick are having this much grief, then maybe Rafi and I should quit while we’re ahead.’

  ‘Just because I’ve ruined my love life doesn’t mean yours will go the same way, Bharti.’ I smiled. ‘That’s totally illogical!’

  ‘You think?’

  ‘Come on, isn’t Nana-Sunita talking to you yet?’ I asked.

  ‘No, she reckons I’ve betrayed the memories of all the Hindus who died during Partition or something.’

  ‘Ohmigod!’ I said, trying to keep from laughing. ‘Blimey, I thought you were dramatic!’


  ‘I know! How can I talk to her when she says stuff like that?’ Bharti said, smiling too.

  ‘What does your cousin think?’ I asked.

  ‘Meena told me that I was an absolute idiot for dating Rafi so publically.’

  ‘Yeah, but you didn’t,’ I said.

  ‘I know! She reckons I should’ve stayed in his side of London. She said everyone does it, but no one ever gets caught!’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Yeah, and she said, if Auntie Gayatri gets weird with me, I should tell her, because she has some goss on her.’

  The rest of the trip was fun – trying on clothes and jewellery. Mum had told me I didn’t need to buy my outfit as she’d sort it out for me, so I just tried loads of dresses on. I waved goodbye to Bharti, I couldn’t help thinking she still needed to sort things out. She’d stopped seeing Rafi, yet claimed she was OK with it, that seeing him made life too complicated. But everytime she mentioned his name, she sighed.

  By the time I got home, Dad was back from work, Delphina was in her room and Mum was in a foul mood. No one had opened the boxes and Delphy wasn’t talking about her latest business venture. We were both called to the living room.

  ‘What’s in the boxes, Delphina?’ Mum asked.

  ‘Stuff,’ she replied, staring at Mum defiantly.

  ‘If you look at me like that again, I’ll wipe that look off your face!’ Mum began angrily.

  ‘OK, I don’t think that’s going to help,’ Dad said, stepping between them. ‘Delphina, we’d hoped you’d be mature enough to talk to us, but now we’ll have to open a box. I want you to tell me what you plan to do with the contents and how you got the money to pay for them,’ Dad said calmly.

  Mum just glared. ‘You’re grounded till you’re thirty, young lady,’ she whispered menacingly. It made a shiver go down my spine and I was innocent for a change!

  Dad returned to the living room with a handful of Ghanaian flags, T-shirts and souvenirs with the Ghanaian flag on them.

  ‘Delphy!’ Dad shouted.

  ‘OK, OK. I bought them for the 2012 Olympics. You see, after the World Cup in Ghana there was a surplus of stuff and I thought I could sell them during the 2012 Olympics.’

  The silence was deafening. Mum still had the same furious look on her face. Dad, as usual, was trying to hide the fact that he thought he had a future member of the European Federation of Black Women Business Owners in his living room.

  ‘Where did you get the money from?’ Dad asked.

  ‘I bought the stock at a heavy discount.’

  ‘Answer the question, Delphina,’ Mum said.

  ‘Fine, I used my savings from the dividend I got on Digiworld shares.’

  Digiworld was a small company that specialised in digital solutions to stationery products and Delphy had made us all buy shares in it. It was the only such company that had managed to survive the threat of take-over and not go bust during the economic downturn. I’d made fifty pounds last year and Delphy had made two hundred pounds.

  ‘How did you get access to that money? It’s meant to be locked away …’

  ‘I forged your signature on my account,’ Delphina mumbled quietly.

  ‘You what?’ Mum said, jumping up. ‘That’s it, go to your room, now!’ she screamed.

  Delphy looked really ashamed as headed upstairs.

  ‘I can’t believe she’d break the law!’ Dad said.

  ‘I told you we needed to get help, this is ridiculous! She’s gone too far this time,’ Mum said. ‘Makeeda, did you know about this?’

  ‘No, Mum.’ Why on Earth they always thought I knew what Delphy was up to was beyond me. Delphina and I never discussed her business ventures.

  I felt sorry for Delphy, but I didn’t understand. Why would she go this far? She’d always been disgusted when she’d read the biographies of people who’d committed fraud. Something else was going on here …

  Dinner was whenever we felt like eating, instead of all together at the dining table as usual. It felt like Mum and Dad could barely look at Delphy, so she ate in her room, despite Mum’s rule about no food in the bedrooms.

  I was about to pick up my bag from the kitchen, when I overheard Mum and Dad talking.

  ‘Would this have happened if we were living in Ghana?’ Mum asked.

  ‘I can’t answer that,’ Dad replied.

  ‘We’ve obviously gone wrong somewhere. I mean, it’s like we didn’t bring her up with any Ghanaian values at all.’

  ‘It’s not about having Ghanaian values, though is it? It’s about knowing right from wrong,’ Dad replied.

  ‘So you don’t think we’re too English or something?’ I asked as I joined them in the living room.

  ‘What?’ Dad said.

  ‘Well, when we were in Ghana, everyone called us the English girls. Yet, here it’s like we’re English, but people keep asking us where we come from originally,’ I said.

  ‘People used to do that to me in school here, too,’ Mum said.

  ‘They still ask me and I don’t mind; I’m really proud to tell people where I come from,’ added Dad.

  ‘Makeeda,’ said Mum, ‘why did you decide to do the puberty ceremony?’

  ‘I … I wanted to do it because it is part of my heritage.’

  ‘Yes, but you know you don’t have to do anything like that,’ Mum said. ‘It doesn’t make you more Ghanaian.’

  ‘Your mother and I are very proud of you and your sister, just the way you are,’ added Dad. ‘Misdemeanours aside …

  ‘We’d love for you two to be fluent in Twi, but we know the fact that you aren’t means we can still talk about you while you’re in the same room.’ Dad started to laugh.

  ‘Nice,’ I replied.

  Mum still looked serious.

  ‘Makeeda,’ she said, ‘we chose to raise you and Delphina in London for a reason. We don’t expect you to be completely Ghanaian in your viewpoint. You are British Ghanaians. There is nothing wrong with being both. As I’ve told you before, no one should make you feel bad about who you are. You should never give anyone that much power.’

  ‘Except you and Dad.’

  ‘Of course! There must be some perks to being a parent! Besides, it said so in the guidebook.’ Mum laughed, suddenly cheering up a little.

  ‘What guidebook? There’s a guidebook?’ Dad asked. ‘You never told me about a guidebook!’

  I left before I witnessed another PDA.

  Lying in my bed, I thought about Nick. I had no idea what it was like to belong to three cultures, like him. I wondered if when he was in Poland people called him the English boy or the Ghanaian boy. In Ghana, I overheard someone call him English boy and he flinched but never said anything. That kind of thing can make you feel that you don’t belong anywhere. I suddenly understood why he had been so hurt when he thought I was agreeing that he wasn’t a real Ghanaian.

  I felt that every time I did something connected to my Ghanaian heritage, I fitted an extra piece of a jigsaw puzzle. After talking to Mum and Dad, I realised that I’d been really confused about not being Ghanaian enough in Kumasi or English enough in London. They’d made me realise that it didn’t matter if I never discovered all the pieces to my Ghanaian heritage, because the English pieces could fit just as well. Until then, it had never crossed my mind that I could be both Ghanaian and British and have two ways of seeing and being seen by the world.

  Chapter 14

  The Theory of the Heart-chip

  I couldn’t believe it. The day of truth had arrived. Bharti and I were heading into school for our GCSE results. We decided to go in early to avoid seeing lots of people. We didn’t want to be around anyone who got straight A-grades.

  We were about to walk into the gym when my phone beeped with a text.

  ‘Don’t look at it, Makeeda,’ Bharti said.

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘If it’s someone who has already got their results, they might jinx yours,’ Bharti replied seriously.

  ‘Ar
e you feeling all right?’ I asked, but Bharti had a firm grip on my hand.

  ‘Makeeda, I’ll throw it in the bin if you look at it.’

  ‘What? There’s never any need for that kind of action,’ I said, seriously frightened. I didn’t think I would ever be able to look at her again if she tried to kill my mobile phone. ‘

  Just trust me,’ Bharti reiterated.

  ‘Fine, let’s get this over with,’ I replied.

  It’s a nightmare knowing that you have a text unread in your inbox. It feels really unnatural. Messages are meant to be read, not to be left to gather technological dust. I mean, how long can anyone stare at the little envelope stuck at the top of their mobile phone without succumbing. What if it was Nick? What if Nick decided that this would be the day he’d contact me?

  Mr Patel handed over the envelope containing my future, but all I could think about was the other unopened envelope on my phone. That thought only lasted for a minute, because Bharti poked me very hard in the ribs and said, ‘Open it Makeeda!’

  I tore open the envelope to read my results and I gasped. ‘

  Ohmigod!’

  English literature: A

  English language: A

  Maths: A

  History: A

  French: B

  Sociology: B

  I.T.: B

  Science: BB

  Media: B

  R.E.: B

  Bharti and I swapped our sheets. She got three more As than me and they were in science so she was pleased.

  We immediately rushed outside to call our parents. Mum and Dad wanted me to come home, but I said I wanted to hang out with Bharti for a while. We began walking away from school and Bharti called Rafi to exchange exam results, allowing me to finally check my text.

  Nelson: How did u do? I got 2 As and 5 Bs and 3 Cs.

  I was surprised he’d texted me. It was the first time we’d contacted each other since that day when we’d broken up. It felt really strange. Here I was waiting for Nick to contact me, but Nelson had instead.